The Poetry of Martin Fairclough...I DEMAND A SECOND OPINION
My family physician had examined me at length
And he could find no reason for my growing lack of strength.
He issued me with vitamins and went on to advise
That I eat more fruit and vegetables and take up exercise....
Less alcohol, no nicotine, drink coffee sans caffeine,
No more fry ups and no butter ("Try a low fat margarine").
Till I think he must have covered every dietary sin
But finally he paused for breath, and then I started in....
"I eat an orange and an apple and banana every day....
I live three miles from the office and still hoof it all the way....
I'm teetotal (always have been), a non-smoker who drinks tea....
I've never owned a fry pan and my spreads are sat-fat free....
A diet rich in fibre means my bowels are up to speed
And I drink a daily pinta for the calcium I need
So I think it safe say my lifestyle isn't all that bad
But none of this explains the sense of weakness that I've had."
He scribbled something on my notes, closed the file and then
Studied me intently as he tapped it with his pen;
"Your reaction times are marvellous. A heart sound as a bell.
Your lungs would shame an athlete and (as far as I can tell)
Your circulation, skeleton and muscle tone are sound
And with all the tests you've undergone a problem would be found.
The trouble, Mr Fairclough, is (if I may be so bold)
Simply that you're fast approaching eighty-three years old!"
